i keep thinking about how 9 in the afternoon is not a time that exists
why does the government make it illegal to be naked in public but not give me any money to buy nice clothes
are you telling me i have to pay to not break a law
probably the smartest thing I’ve ever heard.
my dad and this other guy were fighting over who would go on a date with my mom in high school so they put their forearms together and my mom dropped a lit cigarette in between them and said “first one to pull away loses” and my dad still has a little scar
in 2 seconds you’ll be singing “I’m a Barbie Girl” in your head
My friend’s dad used to work on Kim Possible and one time we went with him to work and I remembered how a classmate of mine had asked me once why Bonnie’s boobs were round and Kim’s were pointy so I asked my friend and her dad walked in and my friend immediately spun the question on him and I was like no wait stop but without even blinking he just said ‘because Kim’s are real’